Destructive conflict response #2 – BELITTLING

Making someone feel unimportant.

There’s no one-size-fits-all reason why people belittle others. Some people are unaware of their behavior and may say a person is too sensitive, or dismiss it as humor, if brought up.

People may belittle because they have unresolved anger toward a person. Other times the behavior is rooted in insecurity; putting others down to lift themselves up.

Regardless, it’s important to realize belittling behavior destroys relationships.

Thoughts that lead to belittling:
• I’m going to make you look like a fool
• I’m going to show your idea doesn’t matter

To overcome belittling:

REFLECT.
• Have I been accused of putting someone down? Do I tend to rationalize it?
• Do I have unresolved resentment toward this person?
• Am I struggling with insecurities this person triggers?

REFRAME.
• “He/She is being so sensitive.”
• Try: “Maybe I’m not coming across as I intend.”

CHOOSE.
Explore a more respectful and tactful way to communicate. Evaluate if something should even be said. T.H.I.N.K.: Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind?

Commit to REFLECT, REFRAME, and CHOOSE a new behavior.

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